With a twinkle in his eye
And a joyful heart.
Santa sat down in his sleigh, Christmas Eve
And let out a fart.

The reindeers were startled
And pranced up and down.
Santa was surprised
His red pants had turned brown.

"Oh crap!" He shouted.
"What should I do?
I have a sleigh full of presents
And my britches full of poo!"

To the closest Walmart!" He cried.
To his team gave a whistle.
Santa took off in his sleigh
Like a laser guided missile.

Into the parking lot they bounded,
Causing a traffic jam.
"Hey, you can't park there!"
Yelled the Walmart greeter Sam.

To the underwear aisle he dashed,
Searching for his size.
"Man, Santa really stinks!
Pee yew!" Were the last minute shoppers cries.

To the check out lane he hurried
As the cashier chuckled, "Good grief!
I had you pegged for wearing boxers,
Definitely not briefs.

"He paid for his tightie whites
And began to change in his sleigh
As the red lights of a police car
Were screaming his way.

"Santa, what are you thinking?
The officer did say.
You smell terrible!
You're half-naked
And you double-parked your sleigh!

I have a good mind to give you a ticket
And haul your naked butt down town.
Give me one good reason I shouldn't!"
He said with a frown.

Santa began to speak softly
As he his lifted his head.
"I pooped my pants Sir."
That was all that he said.

12/20/2007