A Moment

I was polishing my glasses.
Wine and water that is:
Part of my sidework to exit
the horrifying place I call work.

Yet suddenly dropping the cloth
I was captivated by outside,
peering through 40 ft high glass...
I was mesmerized by sparkling.

The damp, rainy night glistened
as the Fox News ticker proudly
scrolled events and error-filled
right-wing commentary slang.

I looked up and down the building
like many of the tourists visiting
the big city of New York, stopping
foot traffic, gridlocked sidewalks.

I envisioned the peace in my heart
when my work here was done,
not tonight, but for good, when
I could no longer sling steaks.

I can't really do it now, but my debt
scares me some-kind-of-horrible,
and I don't want to endure this pain
while trying to live on my days.

So still I stood, arms folded,
imagining brighter days
when my shoulders stood straight
and my mind was at ease.

These moments used to be absent
before I met her, but now my life
is filled with earth-shattering moments
of momentary glee when debt is gone.

I can't help but know that before this job
the most I made in one year was $25,000.
Slinging cheeesecake and programming
with not even the slightest ambition.

And now for the second year in a row
I will eclipse $60,000 tap dancing with
stockholders and CEOs a plenty,
mired in a misery with a goal.

Once I am out of debt, I can do a job
I not only enjoy, but one that allows me
to come home to my lovely woman
who has captured my heart from obscurity.

So for now I suffer the slings and arrows
of her love that I have now scorn in fright
that the debt will never go away, while so close
I am to being out, I cannot give up now.

Investing all of myself to ridding my debt now,
will mean endless love and time for us,
later down the line, and of course I realize
that tomorrow I could be dead as the next guy,

but I lived for the now 10 years ago,
when all this debt started to build, so
aniticpating a great future and setting it up
is what I am doing for us.

If only she saw it that way.  If only I could be
debt-free tomorrow, and show her my heart
without anything wearing on my soul,
back to my innocence before the man took it.