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Just Me
by Erin JonesStruggling at the edge of this cliff
Struggling at the edge of this cliff
Ive fallen off
Im helping myself up
Im watching myself
Im watching myself
Im trying to just let go
Im trying to pull myself up
Im wondering if this is the end
Im wondering if this is the end
Im just hanging here
I keep holding on
Its like Im looking in the mirror
Its like Im looking in the mirror
But on the other side Im still up there
But on the other side Ive fallen off
I stare into my own eyes
I stare into my own eyes
I just want to let go
I cant keep holding on
Its almost over
Its almost over
Ive given up
My hands are slipping
Struggling at the edge of this cliff
Struggling at the edge of this cliff 12/08/2007 Author's Note: This is a bit of an experiment... It may make sense or it may not, but I have a little picture that will help a lot if anybody wants to know :)
Posted on 12/08/2007
Copyright © 2024 Erin Jones
| Member Comments on this Poem |
| Posted by Alison McKenzie on 12/08/07 at 06:22 PM The use of the "echo" sentences helps create a feeling of big empty spaces where - something else - should be....the ledge the hanging person needs to have for safety, or the rescuer who will help haul the person up. And the ever present danger of just letting go, the "end" presented as a possibility either way. Very interesting and effective. And I would LOVE to see the picture! |
| Posted by Richard Vince on 12/08/07 at 10:14 PM sometimes thoughts nag at me; they repeat themselves in my mind until they think they've been noticed. this feels similar: i can feel that sort of thought process as i read it. nicely captured. please can i see the picture to find out how differently i've seen this from how you wrote it? |
| Posted by Brian Francis on 12/09/07 at 01:55 PM Yes I've felt this way a time or two. Very interesting mechanics you have used here
--bf |
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