i'm sorry
it all fell sideways
unravelled
at the seams
dirty matted cotton
stuffing, exposed
jostling out in mangled tufts

i'm sorry
i dropped it
that ball i'd held
so casually so easily
just the day before
couldn't do anything
but watch as it
bounced away

i'm sorry
for the moments
when i can't find the
words at all
and the thought
of talking about it
is more wearisome
than having to feel it

i just want you
wrapped around me
until i can somewhere
find the energy
to get back up
and hunt that ball
on the dirty floor
where it's rolled
beneath the rumpled
bed, amid the forgotten
detrius of the junk mail
of all the yesterdays
and dancing shoes kicked
off in haste
dirty underwear and party
dresses rubbing shoulders
with loose balls of discarded
cat fur and dead shells of
empty mice once full of catnip

the only thing
really
that always stays
in place waiting
calmly quietly
is my teddy bear
and he's smart enough
to always hold on
to his stuffing,
unlike me

11/07/2007

Posted on 11/07/2007
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