I wanted to write the first line to the worst poem, so I did what poets do.



I opened a new bottle of Pinot Grigio. Pinot Grigio is their favorite because even the five dollar bottles are pretty good.



I poured some into a clean coffee mug. They never have guests over for dinner so they rarely buy proper wine glasses. They do, however, drink a lot of coffee. There are always four or five clean mugs since even poets have the occasional breakfast guest.



I moved the large books from my comfortable chair to my uncomfortable chair. Poets love having large books around, and from time to time they read them.



I muted the baseball game; down by five at the bottom of the 9th inning, I'm not worried about missing anything. They don't like to admit it, but poets like sports just as much as normal people. You may see one complaining about the rabble at the pub, but don't look too far into it. They mostly like complaining.



I turned on some nice, soft music and placed my headphones around my neck. They need some noise while writing, but too much or too little and the entire venture is lost, in which case they usually pour another glass of Pinot Grigio.



I created a new word document and typed out a "lorem ipsum" in order to decide on font, margins, word alignment. It is of the utmost importance that a poem be read exactly as the poet intends, so it is not uncommon for them to spend more time playing with the typography than actually typing.



I stroked my chin and pondered recent events in my life. Most poets think it's best to find a subject from what they know. Perhaps this explains writers block and the prevalent attitude that poetry is dead. This is as good a subject as any, and they all know it.



Subject in mind, I sat up straight and wrote the first line to the worst poem.

10/27/2007

Author's Note: I don't know where this one belongs. Probably not at two. "Prose Poetry" is such a cop-out.

Posted on 10/28/2007
Copyright © 2024 Jason Wardell