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Different, I am

by Alisa Js

and I have lost myself again wondering
while looking below, I see those great arms
of emptiness and loneliness waiting
watching
leering
at me,
screeching those words all too familiar ...

echos from the past
when I was a child,
'you're not worthy'
'you're nobody'
'who do you think you are?'
'you're not good enough for us, get outta here'

the dark side
never loved me
full of prejudice and pain
just ate you up,
tore out your heart when you're weren't aware
or too young to defend ...

I grew up in a world where different was wrong
everything the same was accepted
and different I was
biracial,
of that combination I had no choice
yet, judged I was and judged I became,
great sensitivity I learned at my own shattered expense ...

how much of one's childhood lingers?
how much of today's pain opens the wound
that never really healed from the past
I thought I was healed,
until today ...



10/21/2007

Author's Note: I lived part of my early childhood in the deep South where racial prejudice was rampant. As a result, I became very much aware of differences at an early age and more than likely far too sensitive to criticism of any type...any anger directed at me only opens those wounds all over again...

Posted on 10/22/2007
Copyright © 2024 Alisa Js

Member Comments on this Poem
Posted by Michelle Angelini on 10/22/07 at 02:48 AM

What a wonderfully, sensitive poem you've written. Being from the North, my first experiences in the South were horrible. With my open-minded ways of friendship, even being white didn't shield me from the prejudices of the southerners at that time. It was a very lonely time for me. You have written about something that is so painful and may have long-lasting affects. Cruelty, in any form, is never easy to handle, especially when you're young. Prejudice also extends to those who are different in other ways. May your wounds heal on time and forgiveness be in your heart.
~Chelle~

Posted by Jean Mollett on 10/22/07 at 03:24 AM

Hi Alisa, This is a very powerful message, full of emotionals, yes, sensitive. Great write. It's a shame that things like thia happens. I've learnt along time ago, that you can't judge a book by it's cover. Meaning that, the ways a person looks doesn't make you bad. Beauty is only skin deep. I look for the person deep indside, what's in their heart, mind, soul, spirit. That's where the real true beauty is. Besides no one has the right to judge anyone or anybody. Only our Lord, Jesus Christ and his father God. I haven't really came across this myself. But, I did have a friend in Dallas, Tx, where we moved into an apartment. We met there one day, ran into her a few times. We did things together sometimes. She's a black lady, didn't bother me. One time went to a sports store to guy some swimming caps, she warn me before we got there. I kinda brush it off, I soon found out, she was right. There are alot of poeple in Dallas that are very prejudice. We walked into that store and the look that this guy gave me behind the counter. If looks could get, I'd be dead. The way he acted, I was really shocked. I've never experience anything like it. We got our stuff and got out of there. And if a businessman says he's out of Texas, they don't like it either. That's what I've been told.

Posted by Gabriel Ricard on 10/23/07 at 04:15 AM

Well said, man. Just really well said.

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