She doesnt want to leave him

But the hurt just perseveres

She doesnt want to mimic him

Or the pain he caused for years



She doesnt want to need him

He tells her she wont exist without him

She knows she couldnt leave

He wouldnt let her



Oh how she would love

To never cry again

But every night is the same

And the fights begin



He is driving her further away from him

He is pulling her back by the hair

She wonders what she did to deserve this

She knows that lifes not fair



She cant let everyone down

Shes been through it before

But what should she do this time around

He just ignores her



She always gets the feeling

Things arent as they seem

She wonders what hed do without her

If shed fulfill her dreams..



He used to hold her hand

And he used to kiss her softly

She can never understand

The hate he displays for her now.



He says he doesnt hate her

He knows he hasnt changed

He says its all inside her mind

Because she is deranged



There is no one to stand by her side now

She has to face life all alone

She wonders if she can handle this

He tells her the answer is no



She wonders if she could find someone

Who could love her for what she is

But no matter what anyone tells her

He says shes always his



She wonders at the breakfast table

As she stares across through eyes

How many times during the past few years

Have his words been all lies



She wonders why she does so much

Wonders why she gets nothing in return

No thank yous, No I love yous

Nothing is heard



Now as she lies near him in bed

And his back is turned towards her

With a Razor blade in one hand

She wonders.



If I kill myself tonight

All the while his back is turned

And he wakes up to the sight

What would he feel?



Would he feel sorrow

Or would he feel pain

Would he cry for me

Or pity himself



This is all she can wonder

As the blade cuts her veins

She drifts off to sleep as she bleeds

and she wonders

10/18/2005