She doesn’t want to leave him

But the hurt just perseveres

She doesn’t want to mimic him

Or the pain he caused for years…



She doesn’t want to need him

He tells her she won’t exist without him

She knows she couldn’t leave

He wouldn’t let her…



Oh how she would love

To never cry again

But every night is the same

And the fights begin…



He is driving her further away from him

He is pulling her back by the hair

She wonders what she did to deserve this

She knows that life’s not fair…



She can’t let everyone down

She’s been through it before

But what should she do this time around

He just ignores her…



She always gets the feeling

Things aren’t as they seem

She wonders what he’d do without her

If she’d fulfill her dreams..



He used to hold her hand

And he used to kiss her softly

She can never understand

The hate he displays for her now….



He says he doesn’t hate her

He knows he hasn’t changed

He says it’s all inside her mind

Because she is deranged…



There is no one to stand by her side now

She has to face life all alone

She wonders if she can handle this

He tells her the answer is no…



She wonders if she could find someone

Who could love her for what she is

But no matter what anyone tells her

He says she’s always his…



She wonders at the breakfast table

As she stares across through eyes

How many times during the past few years

Have his words been all lies…



She wonders why she does so much

Wonders why she gets nothing in return

No thank you’s, No I love you’s…

Nothing is heard…



Now as she lies near him in bed

And his back is turned towards her

With a Razor blade in one hand

She wonders….



If I kill myself tonight

All the while his back is turned

And he wakes up to the sight

What would he feel?



Would he feel sorrow

Or would he feel pain

Would he cry for me

Or pity himself…



This is all she can wonder

As the blade cuts her veins

She drifts off to sleep as she bleeds

…and she wonders

10/18/2005