Almost 3pm when he dropped me off at home,
my brain wouldn't work, it happens like that.
Didn't say that was why I had ADD at the record store,
why I walked into the cafe
to use the bathroom but couldn't deal with being buzzed in.

Seven different organic coffees, smelled like piss.
Didn't even want to walk, told him I was going back to bed.
I didn't mention that I was going to finish the rest of the beer
in the fridge, and possibly the Jim B., first.

My list of friends, four pseudo names belong to somebody
from eight years ago,
he isn't alive anymore.

It's light beer so I had to drink quick and now
I was supposed to recommit myself to exercise and
I was suppose to start drinking sparingly, socially,
and not to cure myself of zombie-like feelings,
I told him, put beer in my fridge and it will not last.

I heard when your brain gets stuck like this,
move your body, change positions, open your arms
and lift up your head, get things moving all around,
sounded like a good idea and sometimes
when I feel this way just moving my head closer his warm
squirmy body helps so much, and everything is better.

Then there are days like this one.

I still need to nap and have time
to wake up cranky and say that I will never
ever
hurt like this again.

10/03/2007

Posted on 10/03/2007
Copyright © 2024 Kimberly Rhode