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Kidnapping

by Trisha De Gracia

Oh I can feel you
heavy hands on this wronged body
calluses and bitten nails
the creases by your eyes
between your sighs
each moment
squeezing down my neck
each word with heels dug in
dragged wrong-way down my trachea
forced back into my lungs.

Lift an ear
and listen to it

The gag and broken choke of stanzas
breath gone out, their stomaches pummelled
wheezing at the atmosphere
each letter up against wet walls
and sucking sloshing bile,
amid the guts and poisoned viscera
They lift their skirts, they wither out
dead starlets at the height of glory
mute and void of light.

Ingenious really:
stitch my lips and gut my passion
wretch my words and tuck them in
a vial labelled "Romeo."
I dare not drink and end my life
and yet
for all that suffering brings
my baby, oh
my poetry's
decaying there inside.

09/16/2007

Author's Note: I think I know why I haven't been able to do this. When it started to hurt real bad I never wanted to admit it, soI never wrote about it. There were no poems or journal entries. I couldn't live through it twice and I couldn't commit to paper where it would exist forevere. I thought maybe if I let the words float past they'd cease to ever exist, and life would go on, and love would regrow, and everything would be fine in the end. So it got shut up in a vial in me. Got pushed down deep into the flesh. The good with the bad, the words all got punished and Now, to rescue it, to spit it all out I'd hav to dig in there and unearth all that pain. I'd have to bring it all back up and feel that burn in my throat. How can I do that? My life is going well. School, everything, going well. Can I risk the deadspot again? Can I bring it all back without choking? Should I? Bu oh god to be able to write again without feeling like I'm pushing my words through a sieve.... I miss my poetry. I miss my voice, it really was like my baby. And I have to get it back some how. I have to.

Posted on 09/17/2007
Copyright © 2024 Trisha De Gracia

Member Comments on this Poem
Posted by J. P. Davies on 09/17/07 at 04:27 AM

I miss your writing, I miss it so much.

Posted by Michelle Angelini on 09/17/07 at 04:51 AM

Glad you got this out Tricia. I've had too many words festering inside me and they've had to be put into reality. The graphic nature of your words an images was hopefully the release you needed. Keep them coming.
~Chelle~

Posted by Gabriel Ricard on 09/18/07 at 03:42 AM

(Throws a hug in for good measure). This was wonderful. Really, really wonderful.

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