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Fears Overnight Bag

by Steven Craig




Now, we were discussing a little fear... :-) one of yours I think...
one that you are going to leave at home on your vacation....

“How? I take me with me where ever I go“

Go look in the mirror at who you are.. smile at your self...
Determine that the fear that lurks there can't take the vacation with you.
Leave it at home...
Take your camera
Take your pencil and paper
Take your smiles

“Yes ... I will“

Take your desires to see the world
Leave the little fears behind.
You may have to remind yourself from time to time...

“Like every day“

Like everyday.....
Its just like teaching ... learning is an experience that opens other doors...
Here, I am the teacher...

“I am glad someone knows what to do“

I have been teaching you about what fear really is... its nothing but a shadow.
An old memory
There is alot to know of once fear is discarded
Everything you are and all that you know and experience goes with you
You must still retain a reasonable respect for the unknown,
for people you do not know, for things not yet tried, but you need not fear them.

“Sometimes I am able to do that, sometimes not“

That is the real difference... replace fear with respect
Do not flee, just do not open your heart up too soon...
Do not dread, but look closely and understand what is there...

“Sometimes I like my corner “

All that you are you take with you, certainly,
but you are a woman that is changing what she is,
and what she takes with her...
Yes, never give up your private space, your private times, we all need them...

“Oh I have changed alot “

But you need not have fear to have a private space and time...

“But I still have alot to change“

You need not have fear to have a private life,
and to be left alone when you want to be left to yourself...
You have changed alot... I remember when you did not talk with me at all... :-)
When you thought that I would laugh at you
or call you names because you are a teacher...

“you have changed me :-) “

Or because you are a woman...
You changed you... the power is yours... I merely pointed the way...
Now, I point in another way...

“Yes but I do not let many get that close to change me“

You do not need to have the whole world at your door...
the respect of those you respect is worth more than the applause of the multitudes...

“I run very well“
“I am a very private person“

But there are times when you must get close enough
to smell and taste to determine if you like to eat something...
it is the same with people in general...

“and I usually only let very few get close to me“

And I am not that close to you. ....
am I?

“yes you are close!!!!!! “

I am still just a distance keyboard and a blue screen

“you read me like a book you are very powerful and any closer
“and you would control me completely and we both know that“

Yes, I am not that close, and yet, I understand you.
I know nothing private about you, nor do I so desire to know the intensely private you.
Understanding, is still a great deal for anyone to know,
but I do not read you like a book, I only understand you.

I have never sought to control you, that is not my mission, ... my mission is unique...
one of pure friendship and leadership. Yes, I do know much of control,
but that would not be permitted by me. It is not for anyone to control you,
until you know of controlling yourself...

“I do need to know how to do that on many levels“

In many ways, I am preparing you for a new adventure,
one that you must take to be happy.
That adventure is a life with your fears put in their proper place
No one, not even your lover, lives completely without fear. That is not possible.
But fears should consult the mind, not lead it.

“Most of the time mine lead me“

Fears tell you not to jump when you will get hurt...
they should not say that every jump hurts you... that is the difference.

“And I know that must stop“

Can you see that difference?

“Yes. I can see it but I can not always control it“

Can you feel that difference in your mind...
the need not to be hurt being tempered with the hope
to find what does not hurt you...

“Yes but not the courage to do anything about it“

Ah, courage... now there is a thought... :-)

“I think of oz“

Courage, is it not what we do everyday just to keep living?

“yes“

Is it not what makes you teach the pupil that is difficult to teach?

“yes“

Is courage not what you have to just drive on the roads?

“yes“

Even to mow the grass when the bees are out?
Courage, you have.
The fears say you do not have it.

“but I do not always use it correctly“

The fears often lie.
If we were always correct in our actions, we would never need teachers.

“yes but they do control even when I do not want them to“
“:-) I will always have a job LOL“

LOL
Yes indeed
And even then, teachers will always be the ones that must have courage...

“I just hope I am able to be a quick learner“
“but it seem I am slow in many ways“

Courage, is an emotion...
you should be a very quick learner with the emotions that you have...

“but emotions often go in the wrong directions and my brains doesn't
work quick enough to catch the pot hole and I step in the hole“

You want to be correct at all times when that is impossible,
you must do the best you can,
make the educated choice...
those that never made a mistake never made a discovery that was valuable.

“I sure have made alot of mistakes “

So have I...
But I also learned from them...
And what I learned I take with me everywhere.

“I get tired of them .... they hurt“

I still make mistakes, but they are fewer
You made at least one great mistake... it hurt the most.
And in the shadow of that one great mistake,
the smaller ones look larger and fearsome.
Everyone as they grow make at least one great mistake.
Everyone.
Everyone that you see outside.
But they are still here. One day, I will give it a small test...

“I never know until ..........how“
“I may not pass the test“

You will be the only one who knows if you pass or not.

“ohhhhhh“

Yes.
Courage is private too you know
What is one persons ultimate courage is another’s daily fare...

“good I may be able to hide my failure“

Yes, but not from yourself...
Failures are not what is important...

“No I can not hide from me“

What is important is that you must not fail the very last time you try...

“I know just the trying“

You should repeat that phrase and remember it... do not fail the last time you try...

“do not fail the last time you try“

Yes,... do not fail the last time you try...

“do not fail the last time you try“

It is a very empowering thought.

“You must not fail the last time you try“

It is the strength of every submissive... never to fail the last time she tries...
That means that she tries and tries,
and learns from each failure how to be better the next time she tries...

“If I am able to remember it when I need to the most“
“good way to think of it“

And when she succeeds, even if its only for herself,
she is proud of her success and happy with the accomplishment...

That is the secret to courage...
You now have the secret in your hands... I will one day test it just a little...

“I will try to be a good learner“

But you will test it everyday...

“OK“

It will grow from you and you alone... your courage.
Failures give you strength... success gives you happiness

“I think I still need to go to the Land of OZ“

You will know of both...
You are already there...

“yes I know you are correct“
“how? “

The cowardly lion ventured through Oz for a long time in search of courage...

“yes“
“me too“

In that venture, the lion ran and hid from many things,
but the very last time that it was needed,
his courage showed and the lion did proud things.
The truly hard part is realizing that you have the courage,
and that it is time to leave Oz and come home again...

“I only hope that is for me too“
“I have red shoes“

You should wear them...

“I guess I need to click the heels three times“

For as the Good Fairy revealed at the very end...
Dorothy always had the power to return home...
and go home
Home is where the heart is... not a place for fears, but a place for trust and respect.
You will have some time to discover this in your heart.

“yes I have learned that home is where you are with love in your heart“

One of your fears, is it not, to love someone again?

“trusting someone is my fear. Trusting my love to someone“

Trust is something that comes slowly to everyone even in the best of times.
Trust is always a great issue...
One that must be taken in your hand and shook

“trust is always an issue“

You shake it in the face of another and see what falls out...

“yes but you do not always really see the truth“

Most people can trust another, few know what it really is, and very few understand it.

“you only see a mask they want you to see“

Truth is an entirely different issue...
Truth must always be separated from trust...
I say this because ...

“how do you do that“

Truth is in the eye of the beholder...

“not always“

Always.
Let me explain...

“yessssssssssss“

No one sees the things around them exactly as another would.
No one feels exactly the way another would about any one thing either.
You have had this experience in class...

“yes“

Students will give different answers to the same question.
A different description to the same problem..

“yes and all are correct“

The best example is not logical, but what comes from the mind... ART.
Art is from each persons basic mind,
the creative description of what they see and how they present it.

“yes“

Ask a class to draw a simple thing, like an apple, placed in the center of the room...
Each drawing will be different...

“yes “

It is the same apple, in the same place...

“yes“

But each person describes it differently in the drawing.
Because each mind is different.

“yes“

Each sees it a little differently, and explains it differently.
Art Natalie, is the key.... that is why I ask you to paint... to write....
You are seeing things as you do... and you understand them... as you see it...

“ok..yes“

The drawing will be different, the words different from any other person

“true“

Truth, is as the other person perceives it to be.
It is often the same when we are taught exactly the same... as in math.
1 + 1 = 2 is always truth...

“yes“

But x + y = z... is always variable, based on the values another person assigns them...
the correct value for z can not be truth... it is infinet.

“yes that is so“

We must accept another’s answer as they come up with it when they tell us
what the values for x and y are...
A truth is then established... for those values, from that person.
This is the way of it in a relationship...
truth is always to be established... you can not know of it in advance...
And to learn of those truths, fear must be put in its proper place.

“yes you are right“

Trust and truth are the centers for ones emotions
But they are very different things and are separate issues...

“when you think of it in that way“
“I had never looked at them in that way“

You are a sweetheart... you have learned alot tonight... think on them for a while....

“you are a good teacher“

It is the way people are...
people are not logical.,
not set to a formula, not predictable...

“I will think on them“

Good...

“thanks for taking the time for me. “

I will 'trust' you to think on it and see how you can find 'truth' in others...

“OK“

You are a very special person... worth my time indeed...
You have the courage.

“thanks :-) “

Believe me... you have it.

“I hope I prove you correct“

I know in my heart that you will...




08/08/2007

Author's Note: She didn't make it.

Posted on 08/08/2007
Copyright © 2020 Steven Craig

Member Comments on this Poem
Posted by A. Paige White on 08/08/07 at 01:53 PM

Your author's note was like a punctured, deflated "Get Well Soon" balloon just under the edge of the sick bed. Man. I guess it effectively made your point. We probably all fear being the subject of your author's note. Great write!

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