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i've gotten used to stumbling often. (or, detachment)

by Eli Skipp

I.
Every poem written with a basis in love
I pray –
(And staunch that prayer) –
that it may have been written with me in mind.

I want you to think of me as
A perfect creature –
(certainly nobody else does) –
the goodness in me,
I want you to consider that me
Fully and wholly.


II.
I happen to know that I am not prepared for this.
There isn’t a single inch of my body that’s in love with you
But there’s miles of half burnt tendrils
That care if you’re not with me.

I suppose it’s pride.
My ego requires constant feeding
And ravages my innards with its claws.

But.
I know I’m better than you.
I know you’re more ignorant
And have a lower tolerance for liquor
Than I have for people.

I know you’re twenty years old and going nowhere near
As far as me.


III.
I am drunk so often that I can’t think of Miami
The way that I want to.

In between scratching Cesar’s pitbull on its pate
And swallowing grateful mouthfuls of Blue Moon,
I wonder why I was raised in a way
That prohibits me from discerning Honduran men
From Borinquenos.

I have never fought with anyone
The way you do;
Snuck up on them terrible-like
And let loose,
The strongest coward I know.

All I can do is repeat
Unfeeling
The automatic words of love my insides just can’t fathom

and you’re too far away to be Hialeah anymore.


IV.
As a woman of smoke and mirrors
Who’s gotten used to breaking quickly,
I want you to know how often I have stumbled,
And somehow only ever thought of you.

Occasionally I search various places for your name;
Ft. Lauderdale, Miami,
And come up empty.


V.
I have lost the ability for catharsis.
I blame the way you love me
And still throw me to the dogs.

05/02/2007

Author's Note: I do not know if this is library worthy. Please, honesty is greatly appreciated. I am merely trying to write through terrible writer's block.

Posted on 05/02/2007
Copyright © 2019 Eli Skipp

Member Comments on this Poem
Posted by Marianne Reddan on 05/07/07 at 01:40 PM

i feel that i am in a similar situation during the first 2 sections. excellent work, i really like how you pulled in your feelings with physical places

Posted by Sandy M. Humphrey on 05/07/07 at 01:44 PM

This poem is such an honest look within at some very elusive feelings, it made me wince at times as if a mirror had been held up. "As a woman of smoke and mirrors Whos gotten used to breaking quickly, I want you to know how often I have stumbled, And somehow only ever thought of you." This stanza really struck a chord with me but truly your insight was remarkable here. Very well constructed and an excellent read. I am glad you had the POD or perhaps I would have never stumbled here. smh

Posted by Coleman Demiurge on 05/07/07 at 02:24 PM

An excellent work - best Poem of the Day I've seen this year.

Posted by JD Clay on 05/08/07 at 02:37 AM

This explosive piece is overflowing with emotion and melancholy served for lunch. It's got pizzaz and POTD too, Congratulations, Elisabeth!

Posted by Kathleen Wilson on 05/10/07 at 03:38 PM

Powerful mix of strength and vulnerability described, mirrored in language of raw emotion mixed with sophisticated balance, imagery and descriptive detail. The poised contrasts really carry through to the heart and mind here, excellent!

Posted by Elizabeth Jill on 08/09/07 at 11:20 AM

If I borrowed your muse for just one day, I'd be blown away. This poem is most mesmerizing, and keeps me so completely involved that I reread it many times. Fine, fine, and finer!

Posted by Maria Kintner on 08/22/07 at 10:18 AM

This is so delicate - like old love letters on fading paper. I know this feeling so well.

Posted by Jo Halliday on 11/18/09 at 05:12 PM

Stunning; the build-up, the flow is remarkably taut and yet like waves, not lean.

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