When I was a little girl, it seemed as if my father was always going to shul

(temple) 2 times a day; in the early morning and after work, at sunset. I

remember asking him why he always going. We were not a religious family, so even

as a young child, it seemed strange to me.

My Dad explained that he was going to say "Kaddish". Kaddish, it was explained

to me, was the Jewish prayer for the dead and was said for 11 months after

someone died.It was said for 2 reason; to guide the deceased person to his/her final

resting place and more importantly to my father, it was said as a punishment

for the living; a daily reminder that they were alive and the person who Kaddish

was being said for was dead. My Dad was always THE KADDISH because he was the

only male in the family and Kaddish had to be said by a male.

My Dad was everybody's Kaddish. Every relative without a son had my Dad as their

Kaddish. He even said Kaddish for a sister he hatred. It was the right thing to

do, and there was nobody else who would do it.

But as he got older, he realized that he needed a Kaddish. There were no sons;

no grandsons to say Kaddish for him. My husband offered to take the job. He

promised my father that he would say Kaddish for my Dad.

When my Dad died, the promise was fullfilled. My husband said Kaddish every day

for his father-in-law.

When my Mother was dying, she never questioned my husband. She was an Agnostic

and really didn't care, or maybe she knew in her heart that Kaddish would be said;

faithfully and lovingly....and it is.

04/24/2007

Author's Note: I am not religious, but there are a few traditions that I believe in. Kaddish is one of them

Posted on 04/24/2007
Copyright © 2026 Joan Serratelli