Guys -
you know what I'm talking about
when I say
there's nothing
as comfortable
as comforting
as relaxing
at the end of a long
hard
day
as a nice
hard
wooden chair.

You know
that on the long
hard
drive
across congested freeways
as you ingest gasoline fumes
while expelling exasperated obscenities
the soul-saving image
that gets you through
is that of
a nice
hard
wooden chair
and

as your stomach rumbles
its protest
at your skipped lunch
and draws your mind
toward the promise
of that long-awaited supper
what you truly yearn for
is a nice
thin
tough
firm slab of meat
that you can enjoy
from the comfort
of your nice
hard
wooden chair,

which
you can later
snuggle up to
in bed -
that'll keep you
warm
and cozy, right?

This is what runs through my mind
as I watch the woman
walking ahead of me on the sidewalk
sporting countable ribs
and flat ass,
her visible hip bones
sashaying from east to west
and back east again,

every male eye on the block
following the motion
like a hypnotist's watch
as I make my way home
to my own personal sofa.

04/07/2007