The one good thing
about my poetry is
self loathing -
it gives me something
to live up to
to find myself in
when times are lonely
and when I reach out
to the wrong girl again
or play horribly at cards
again I find that humbling
spot on the sofa
that can never satisfy.

I think a little,
stew some more
get angry
get up
walk to my computer
write down my thoughts
as they come to me
my fingers jot
mental anguish
and it goes away.
If only for a moment
and then I leave my seat
losing my mind again.

So next week,
when all this happens
one more time
I can look this up
like a repeating journal
and remember the anguish
if only so I can write
another different way
saying the same
constant thing -
I am not happy with
who - where - what
I am, today.

03/22/2007

Posted on 03/22/2007
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