Love Notices by A. Paige White On the fridge If you are far too busy or tired to put up what you remove from me, or wash up the dishes you dirtied when you were eating food that was bought and stored in here by someone else, by all means, feel free to leave it right where it is and immediately go find another pasture where the boundaries of offenses are more liberal to hungry asses browsing freely on what someone else bought. In the bathroom If you are unprepared to put your dirty towel in the hamper, put a new roll of toilet paper out for the next users convenience, wash the dirt/oil/grime out of the sink conveniently located in this facility for you to refresh yourself, feel free to take your dirty, pissy, full of shit, self to another facility where common courtesy is unneccesary. You are invited by a grinning, cheerful heart to do so at once and with the full blessing of the person who washed and dried the towel you used to dry off with, who put the roll of toilet paper within easy reach and cleaned the sink in your unappreciative hygenic interests. Front Door If your shoes are dirty but you're too busy or lazy or tired to clean them or bend over and pull them off at the door, you are cordially invited to walk them right back to your vehicle and drive to a different location where dirt is as welcome a visitor as you are. In my garage/yard If you are too busy/tired/lazy to walk that soda can in your hand over to a garbage can and you feel it's ok to just leave it laying in the garage or yard, please be advised the management of this facility has tired of building empty soda can pyramids and is prepared to: fingerprint these cans, fill them with rocks and/or sand and use your head as a target the next time you come to visit. Yard/driveway If you are engaged in scientific experimentation to grow tobacco in my yard, please be advised that cigarette butts planted lightly on the surface of the grass or dirt of this yard have failed all previous growth attempts. They do not root and grow tobacco or a conveniently rolled cigarette bush for you to pluck and smoke at your leisure. If it hasn't worked on the grass or dirt of the yard, you may assume it will not work on my driveway either. If you feel that this imperial evidence is faulty, feel free to take your jack ass faults to another paved location and continue your own experimentation. Conclusion: If you feel that these observations are faulty in any way, lacking in tact or decorum, and you cannot abide by the wishes of the management of this facility, by all means, please take your ass to another field of endeavor to continue the undervalued behaviors that are prohibited in this location. Yours truly Management 03/14/2007 Author's Note: Ever had these kinds of guests... or as Laurie pointed out, occupants?!? Posted on 03/14/2007 Copyright © 2024 A. Paige White Member Comments on this Poem Posted by Laurie Blum on 03/14/07 at 05:47 PM Great job! I am printing this out and framing it! One in the bathroom, one in the kitchen and one in the garage! But Guests?? Try Occupants!! Return to the Previous Page   pathetic.org Version 7.3.2 May 2004 Terms and Conditions of Use 0 member(s) and 2 visitor(s) online All works Copyright © 2024 their respective authors. Page Generated In 0 Second(s)