|Posted by Meghan Helmich on 07/10/08 at 02:10 PM|
this disgusts me in a delicate and beautiful way. it's really painful to read and (i imagine) to write. but i enjoyed it.
also noticed a couple things you might want to look at. S6 should be 'rhythm,' yes? and S5..you use the word 'uninflated,' which surprisingly doesn't bother me, however, i think the word you're looking for is 'deflated.'
i do really like this poem a lot. it's tangible.