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This Is Me Dealing

by Megan Guimbellot

Sometimes things just aren't right and it takes some getting used to// Used to sleeping in burgundy and white alone for the first time in months (i'll wash away the smell of cigarettes and you in just one cycle, dont you worry)// You can have it all back/ take back late nights and falling asleep with the sunrise/ take back, love, all the little things we fell into way too fast, the routine that made it ok....you can have your taste and your touch and that look in your eyes to give to someone else// i guess reality was a little too harsh and theres no handling it unless you must//this anger is gnawing and biting and twisting me around until i can barely breath (i didnt think i cared that much) and know you never would have. so good luck with your escape and the easy road you take (its not that easy anymore is it) and ill accept the change even if only by talks that last five minutes before you leave again (im getting used to that part)

"you're making me shake again"

good. because no one else ever does and it is, at best, essential.

so understand dear ( i know how you hate that) that this is what i feel because youll never care to hear it any other way, this is a proclaimation of anger and resentment, of loss and of yearning, of lessons and acceptance/ this is me coping with a two month long lie/ this is me dealing

this is the result of a sleepless night and a 24 hours frustration period//so you can stop reading now and feel vindicated and self-rightous or you can give into the rawness of the situation as a whole and for once, feel something, anything that makes you feel a little less secure (or is that just too much for you)?

01/26/2007

Author's Note: This is not hatred, but a release.

Posted on 01/26/2007
Copyright © 2020 Megan Guimbellot

Member Comments on this Poem
Posted by A. Paige White on 01/14/08 at 12:22 PM

Just because we decide to confront a negative by expressing our perspective it doesn't mean it's hatred. Really enjoyed this.

Posted by Steven Kenworthy on 02/15/08 at 04:49 PM

sometimes you gotta get it out of the system. definitely read like a release though. tension and run-ons just add to the biting.

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