“Now I sit me down to eat,”
three big books stacked on my seat,
my short legs dangle in the air
I'm just too young to fit the chair.

Today's the day for turkey feast,
across the table is the beast,
Aunt Hattie came, with little Nell,
my relatives, direct from hell.

Arriving late to fill the room
with ugliness and cheap perfume.
Nell bit me twice since they got here
and Hattie pinched my derriere.

I've tried to dodge and dart away,
and hope to suffer through the day
'till dinner's done and I can flee
while grownups nap or watch TV.

Old Fred is here, again this year
he'll drink too much and then we fear,
he'll smoke cigars and yell at Dad
then leave the smell and exit mad.

My Mom has cooked enough good food
but Lucy Bell will sure get rude
and criticize most every thing,
or anything she didn't bring.

It wouldn't be so bad at all
but Lucy surely has no call,
her cooking's bad, you can believe,
near poisoned us last Christmas Eve.

"Now I sit me down to pray,
I'll make it through Thanksgiving Day,
and if I should die before I eat
I pray the Lord, please save a seat.
If heaven has Thanksgiving Day,
Lord keep my relatives away.",

11/19/1996

Posted on 11/14/2006
Copyright © 2026 Timothy Somers