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proof of life
by Vere MantratriadI thought we could
build a fire just to
watch it rage and
count the ashes one
by one together but
both my arm and
heart feel like theyre
failing from waving this
white flag far too long
so send me a signal
send up your flare
give me some sort of
proof of life
to give me strength
to wave my flag
until youve the strength
to come ashore
08/10/2006 Posted on 08/11/2006
Copyright © 2024 Vere Mantratriad
| Member Comments on this Poem |
| Posted by Jared Fladeland on 08/11/06 at 05:01 AM i liked it. although I dunno, if you could at all not have those two strengths at the end of those last lines. they threw off my rhythm cause I suddenly thought it was a rhyming poem but it wasn't and I was like.. well how did that work.. and it took me five minutes to realize you didn't rhyme, you used the same word. duh. But yeah. I'm just kidding, you don't have to change it. honest. |
| Posted by Jean Mollett on 08/11/06 at 05:46 PM Hi Vere,
Great write. I garee with Lori. I think we all sometime in our lives go thru the same thing. Lots of hugs. :) |
| Posted by Jean Mollett on 08/11/06 at 05:47 PM Ooops, that's agree. Hit the wromg key. Sorry. |
| Posted by Gregory O'Neill on 08/11/06 at 07:52 PM I like the repetition of "strength". Solidifying the thrust of the poem in the closing line. Excellent, Vere. |
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