I have been so consumed by you lately,

I watched your boys the other night and I asked myself what you would think

If you could see who they are, If you could have just one minute to share with them.

I know that you and Dylan would laugh until the sun came up,

and that Jake would be your partner as you always said he would be.

I coudn't even fathom the joy that they would bring to you...

I have found myself wearing my sunglasses a lot to mask the pain in my eyes,

It has been eight and a half years and I have suddenly found myself staring into the sky

wondering where you are...  I miss you so intensely it is almost unbearable.

I wonder how strict you would be, and I wonder how proud you would be. 

I never asked myself "why" or "what if"  when I lost you.

I could not have functioned if my mind was like that. 

But all of the sudden I wonder where would we be if you were still here?

Would I have had my little girl?  Would we have moved back to the island?

Would we struggle or would it have livedhappily ever after?

There are some things that I am sure of...

I am sure that you had more impact on my life than any other human ever could.

I am sure that I will miss you for the rest of my life.

I am sure that I am so blessed to have you boys.. they are so amazing Kelly...

They would blow you away....

I am sure that I have to figure out why the levy broke and years worth of tears decided to flood.

I am also sure that I have to work hard to build it back up again...

I don't get to feel the warmth when I am lost in our shadows.

I love you.

08/04/2006

Posted on 08/05/2006
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