the demon looks at me with glowing eyes from the dark recesses of my brain waiting for me to forget, waiting for the right time before striking me down and i feel his hands on my head again greedily pushing and pulling i know somewhere inside me he waits to finish the job he began that night not so long ago, and the taste, the smell lingers and no matter how much i shake or wash i am still dirty. i am used, old and cast off. i must dress up, dance, proving to all my worth...but i am worthless to myself, so who cares? will i ever be free of the tarnished chains that bind me to him, feeling him come to me in the worst nights but there is no where to run when the terror comes from inside your head. i wish i was dead and my mind needs to stop and the pain needs to end but i fear it will not. sleepless nights only protect me so long and then the darkness overtakes my mind and numbly i sleep again only to forget and it is then he attacks again and again. i know that i must learn to be stronger, i may not be able to change my past...but only i control my future.

07/19/2006

Posted on 07/20/2006
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