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The trouble with speaking to specific audiences

by Mary J Anna

I want to thank someone from last week,
I got the encouragement that I needed to cut my hair shorter,
It takes a lot to embody femme and then do that.
A statement of identity- unavoidable sexualizing attention…
it’s the big questions I try to leave unanswered.

Then I listened to amazing pieces
I was personally moved and inspired
I watched all types of peoples and heard art breathing…
I saw you take another drag and I wondered,
what are you trying to kill?
in that drag, -- there,
Is it the same part of you
that I hate in me too?

And I,
I want to write like you-
you write hagiographic(ally)
from addicted acquaintances
to borderline ex-girlfriends
and I, I want to write like you-
But, it’s just too fucking hot.

You make poetry
but soon that’s all the nothing I want of you
I’m sorry I can’t have casual sex
I can’t objectify your body when I value your soul-
I don’t want to write that way
beautifully staring, but stuck,
addicted to malnourishment,
your body full of thin pain and homeless schmuck-.


I splash white marks across my face
like war paint with sage
I smudge protection through the air
So when I am riding fiercely into the opponent
I will smell it in my hair
and I will know that you gone.

I can protect myself.

Even against you…
But I suppose that’s why the empowerment of woman takes,- - a lifetime,
and we tend to die later,
stubborn and what not.

12/12/2005

Posted on 07/08/2006
Copyright © 2024 Mary J Anna

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