downboy played all the right songs
and never missed a lyric when he sang.
i admired him for that,
laughed at his voice and felt ashamed.

downboy used to drink too much
and fall across the kitchen floor
pull me down upon his lap and ask me
what i was waiting for,
and i never could tell him.
never did.

downboy's hair used to be long
it fell below his ears, so blonde
and i cut it for him myself one night,
but too many haircuts spoil the scissor
and now his hair is nearly gone.
everything is almost gone.

downboy used to dance real close
and whisper in my ear
and we'd stare at our reflections,
he'd just mumble things i couldn't hear.
i wished that i could hear.

downboy used to spend the night
in my bed he'd sleep just fine
but i would stay awake til morning
watching him becoming mine.
i should've known he wasn't mine.

downboy never spoke too loud
and he was always looking at the ground
i would beg him to tell me what i did,
and he'd refuse to make a sound.
on countertops his fists would pound.

downboy didn't stay too long
just enough to make me cry
because downboys are few and far between
and they don't apologize.

i could never ask him why he left,
he'd just stare at me and frown,
not one for explanations,
the boy just always looked so down.
i didn't want to keep him down.

07/01/2006

Author's Note: i miss you and your stupid over-sized shoes and your ridiculously colored button-down shirts. your thick glasses and guilty smile and your rolled cigarettes. i miss your broken car and bad handwriting, your collection of books and over-analyzed prophecies. but mostly, i miss the dancing.

Posted on 07/01/2006
Copyright © 2024 Lauren Singer