And am I killing you by
thinking the worst every night?
Crying, shaking every night,
feeling the lack of you
every night,
denying the lack of you
every day.
You are still here, after all,
even though, when I visit you,
I grow drowsy as though
under some spell.
It's only one-on-one I can tolerate,
when I have no expectations
of how I'm supposed to act
from a step-father, aunt, uncles, cousins.
It's only one-on-one that I can see
the mother I've always had.
In the company of others, reminders hang in the air,
this air we've tried to clean for you
and your one lung.
What can we now do for your brain?
I place my hands upon your head
during Reiki
and beg the chi to work, the energies
to wash away any blackness.
I do your Tarot
and beg for cards with blue skies,
wars already fought.

06/25/2006

Posted on 06/25/2006
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