there is a calm that lives in my limbs in the morning. inspired by the frost on the windows and dew on the grass. the darkness as it disintegrates into dawn. the first splash of hot water onto my shoulders. breakfast - cereal this morning - in front of the television. the latest updates from the world cup, perhaps. the weather. or some snippet of a tv program recorded the night before. i set the alarm and turn the keys in the locks. all three of them. the car is cold, filled with biting air. but it warms hastily and the windows defrost eventually. we weave our way along the back streets. these short cuts we're still learning. some mornings we miss the turn off and come out too far. forced to make u-turns in peak hour traffic. but this morning, we are dead on. we park the car on the fourth floor. same spot behind the barrier every day. cross the street holding hands. part ways at the corner. brief kisses and i love yous thrown across the road as i turn to enter my building and he continues on. this feeling doesn't last long. the doors slide open and i step into the lift. it is back to the old grindstone. my soft edges are hardened by mid-morning. my smile dissolves by midday. but there is evening to look forward to. and tonight it is late night grocery shopping and episodes of lost. there is always hope.

06/21/2006

Posted on 06/21/2006
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