What I had felt like confidence,
But I don't think it was.
There was something that made me
Believe I could introduce myself
To complete strangers, though all
Were merely friends of friends
I had yet to meet.

Whatever it was could not
Make me believe that those
Pseudo strangers really wanted to
Know me, so perhaps it was
Merely a strange form of
Arrogance that knew it was not
Based on truth.

I have lost count of the lies
That I used to make myself believe,
In spite of the reputation
For honesty I somehow acquired.
Like other unpleasant facets of
The real me, I kept them all
Hidden behind all the distractions
I combined into the
Projected persona of me.

That old fake confidence seems
To have reappeared in my desire
For everyone to know who
I really am behind the
Clothes and the beard.
It makes me wonder whether
Confidence really is confidence,
Or merely a nicer term for
Arrogance.

05/06/2006

Posted on 05/08/2006
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