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distances
by Joseff Marati will be the sun
you will be the moon
our love will be the sky
between the midnight and the noon
i can be the day
you can be the night
our love can be the time
it takes to balance black and bright
this will be the bridge
to tread in lust and find the distance
across this void, this chasm
and to accomplish this existence
we can find some light
this darkened world; illumination
to converge in fog and correlate
to touch, to taste in osculation
if i must be the dawn
and you must be the gloom
our love will be the dream
wherein our differences consume 01/14/2006 Author's Note: - the optional last verse was
upon our beds; within our room
the current ending seems unfinished to me
but it is the whole point summed up in one sentence.
i'd originally opted for a verse fitting 'oscillate' -
perhaps, a difficult passage through 'the fog'.
but 'osculate' was more what i was feeling. it means,
to touch, as two curves; to kiss.
this was written in connection with
"Dont Remember Me", from two weeks ago.
it seems too simple to me now.
perhaps i'm wrong.
Posted on 01/14/2006
Copyright © 2024 Joseff Marat
| Member Comments on this Poem |
| Posted by Paul Marino on 01/14/06 at 11:16 AM i like that you used osculate, a word most people wouldn't feel is what they felt, or even knew they were feeling it if they actually were, whereas, you were feeling it and knew a word existed to describe your feeling, and found it. |
| Posted by Elle O'Connor on 01/14/06 at 03:19 PM maybe it's just me. If I read the poem as it is, and then read it with the alternate ending, I end up with two different interpretations. As a romantic, I'd go with the bed ending, but.... it really depends on your intention within the poem. Very lovely work. |
| Posted by Gregory O'Neill on 01/14/06 at 08:46 PM For my taste, the best I've read from you yet. You choose the ending, Elle is correct. |
| Posted by Maria Terezia Ferencz on 09/25/06 at 10:40 PM does not seem simple to me at all, more of a beautiful complexity....lovely |
| Posted by Anne Engelen on 10/19/06 at 06:04 PM read like a song to me, love the flow!
What a wonderful theme well pictured. |
| Posted by Michelle Angelini on 10/29/06 at 02:56 AM Totally and completely celestial! This is the kind of poem I'd love for some guy to write and read to me. So romantic! CONGRATULATIONS on POTD!
~Chelle~ |
| Posted by Kristine Briese on 10/29/06 at 04:56 AM Lovely and rhythmic; beautiful choice for POTD. |
| Posted by Katerina T Nix on 12/06/06 at 12:34 AM A beautiful piece of work you have here, Joseff. I love the imagery and the choice of words. Well done :) -Kat. |
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