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7 The Hunter Gits Angry

by James Zealy

Ah done had enough of this dadburn Fox ruckus
Off come them silly fox huntin' clothes
My hindparts is stingin' as if ole Doc Hazel
Removed a loada bird shot

Ah stomps around the house justa cussin'
Bubba, he hides under the bed
Tom Cat, he jumps under the kitchen table
Ole Chesty heads for the hills

I pulls on my bibs, my carhardt hat and coat
Mah redwing boots
My fox hunting writin' in hand includin' the last mess
Off to the library ah goes
Red faced as a German Johnson tomato

I git there and smacks that thar book
On the librarian's desk all disgusted
Mumblin' under my breath
A didn't lern nothing from this here book

Well the librarian shushed me, she did
And over in the corner Ah seen that copper Haired young'un
What recommended that book
She waved me over and asked to see what I had written
Now I cain't figger why, but somethin' about her was right familiar

She started a readin' and weren't long afore her face
Turned real red and her chest was just a heavin'
Ah thought Ah was gonna have to take her to the emergency room
Well now she kept right on a readin' her chest heavin and by now she was gettin' purple

Ah was afeared she was gonna fall out right thar
Next thing I knowed she grabbed my arm
Tears aflowin' and let out the biggest belly laff I ever heared
I was right offended

Ah gritted my teeth and turned to walk away
Only that woman wouldn't let a loose of my arm
I tugged, she pulled, and I tugged until
I slipped on the dadgum floor and fell right on my hind end

Now that hurt a right smart let me tell you
And it seemed like that calmed her down
Well she pointed at my writtin' and told me
Ah was on the right path

Right then I had no idea what on earth
She was a talking about
I turned to pick my writin up and
Next thing I knowed she had disappeared agin

I scratched my head all puzzled
Somethin' wasn't right about this
Fact was it was gettin kinda strange
I left mumblin', dadgum women and fox they's both trouble

12/15/2005

Posted on 12/15/2005
Copyright © 2021 James Zealy

Member Comments on this Poem
Posted by Jim Benz on 12/19/05 at 06:04 PM

I'm hoping the next installment is coming out soon?

Posted by A. Paige White on 06/15/10 at 04:06 PM

"dadgum women and fox they's both trouble"
and ain't nobody kin write about the trouble they cause like a red neck can!
tomato (t'mater?)

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