God save me from myself before it's too late
Jesus heal my empty heart before I can't find your love
Stop me from deciding to change your plan for my fate
Give me a reason to live, please send a sign from above

There's too much past piled on top of me to rise up
I can't see anything in my future but more of my past
Tell me is the grail your blood or just an empty cup?
An empty cup filled with salvation from the meal you served last

Does any of it matter now that I have decided to die?
Where are you now, where are your footprints in the sand?
Or is it all a bunch of nice stories masking an elaborate lie?
Now I ponder to put my life in your hands or take it by my own hand

To find piece of mind would have helped a long time ago
But now the peace I seek is only for my heart
To put it's aching to rest, to gather up the pain and let go
For the life I neglected and allowed to fall apart

There's no one to blame but me, no guilt lies beyond my flesh
My weakness lies within where I let it take control
And everything I never did left my mind a mess
A state of mind reflected in the pooled tears of my lost soul

But there's no maid who's coming to my home to dust off my eyes
No one is coming to help me clean up the disaster I've become
And my sins will follow me to my grave, so many forgive-less lies
Confession may free my soul but none of them can be undone

So I have no doubts about why you have turned your back on me
God I don't blame you even if this was written in your list of things to do
And now my only hope is to find faith in what I don't believe
Jesus where are you, where are you, where are you?

07/26/2002

Author's Note: Written in much darker times. JJ

Posted on 11/20/2005
Copyright © 2024 JJ Johnson