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Light Out (A letter to Lockjaw)
by Angela ThomasDear Lockjaw,
I know it's been a while since I've written but so much has happened. I suddenly feel like one of those posh girls in the movies with the exciting dramatic lives in exciting dramatic places that fall in love with the atypical man of their dreams. I mean, Lockjaw, I never thought that it could happen to me or that I could feel so complete.
It's always light out here because even with the shades drawn, the humm of the street casts a slight glow in the room. At night, you could wear sunglasses in Time Square or keep your eyes closed in The Village and still know where to go. I like that it doesn't get dark because it makes me feel connected to the people around me, like you, Lockjaw, and it makes me believe that I'm a part of a pulsing beating something that is greater than myself. And yes, I am a dreamer.
Lockjaw, I once dreampt that I would meet a man that would be able to send electric through my vains, that would read all of my writing and try to decode it because he wanted to know the real me, he would tell me his secrets, and I would never be ashamed to have him around. I used to dream. Now, I live. He is perfection and he makes me feel so alive that sometimes it hurts.
I realize that I'm not perfect, but that doesn't have to be a bad thing and I'm not that outside of society. There is a part of life that is just right for me and people like me, Lockjaw. We live just on the border of the mainstream, while me dabble in the dorky, extraordinary, and insane. I am excited to meet people like me and to work with them everyday to create moveable and practical pieces of artwork that can influence millions every second. I'm going to touch someone's life today.
I want to tell people that they're not alone, Lockjaw, that love is possible and they can be happy. I want to shout that I'm finally happy and I go to sleep comforted with that fact every night. I don't toss and turn and I don't wake up until my alarm clock goes off. There are no nightmares in my world because all the love and hope that I have around me has killed them a long time ago.
I love you Lockjaw, and someone else must love you too, and me too. That's what all this means. As long as there is love to float around, there's a little vapor that will creep out for you.
Sending that little vapor to find you,
Angel 11/03/2005 Posted on 11/04/2005
Copyright © 2024 Angela Thomas
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