From places known as the Voodoo Lounge, L’amore’s , and Birch Hill I had thrown myself into ‘the scene.’ The music itself isn’t particularly very special in any way shape or form, and for the most part most anyone you ask won’t even be able to stand it for possibly a grand total of 30 seconds. Its very heavy, very hard, and very in-your-face much like the attitude it strives for.

“Here comes the breakdown!” shouted to me no less then 2 seconds before the chord changed and the floor is now covered with more boys/men and even the girls ‘dancing.’ And here was where, in this mass of seemingly intense violence and aggression, that I found my peace. It was at L’amore’s where I found what everything was about. Blindsided by a hand/foot/fist and nearly knocked cold near the outsides of the mass of dancing, I was picked up immediately by my fellow fans/brothers if you will. As I shook the cobwebs from my skull and got my bearings again nodding to them and managing to tell them thanks for pretty much saving me from getting stomped to death (potentially.) Pulling myself back to reality and washing up in the bathroom, I find one of the guys who helped me. I told him “hey thanks for pullin me out back there.” He told me the one thing that draws me to live shows to this day “Not a problem bro. This isn’t about hurting someone. Its all about the release.”

Some minor dental work to my front tooth and its one of my most memorable concert experiences to this day. People wonder why I do what I do at shows, why I put myself out on the line like that. “Won’t you get hurt?”, “Isn’t that dangerous?” Well of course it is, but so is anything you do in life. You’re just as likely to get killed on the way to the show than at it. Hardcore music saved my life during a time when I felt like I was 2 steps away from losing it. And after all its not about getting hurt… it’s about the release.