an ant crawls across the white light of my laptop screen
the third one I've sent flying off into space
I have no idea how they get in
or what they're after

spinning...

spinning...

the fan oscillates
seems like I am always waiting
for it to come back to me

11:56 banners on a cell phone
blood moves forward and time bleeds out
over and over with its blue light in the darkness

a piano trickles through my headphones
because the silence makes me question myself
how god must hate my hold music by now

I'll be up for about another hour
trying to filter out what the day has made of me
or what I made of it

and when I finally do sleep
I hear the most beautiful notes in my dreams
and I wish I could remember them
jump out of bed and play the instruments

but this enlightenment is just a fleeting sense of clarity
like the closeness to the woman sleeping next to me

breathing...

breathing...

who if given the chance
would blossom like rose in my heart
but I deny her the time of day
and any light that might come with it

each day I ease the suture open
with words
with no words
with sign language
her heart is breaking
I swear you can hear it

and the truth is we are both dying for the same thing
lying in bed right next to each other
but no longer can find it here,
I should have known the day our time together
turned into a matter of convenience
that the light in my heart was fading

like the light of my laptop as it slowly closes toward the keyboard
like a waning digital moon

spinning...

and breathing...

a sadness looming over

10/09/2005

Posted on 10/09/2005
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