Good-bye my friend
I'm goin' back to the egg
Where no light ever shines
To the void of the mind
Leavin' life far behind
Yes my ship will be sailing tomorrow

Good-bye my dear
I'm goin' back to the egg
Where no one's ever been
So that I can't be seen
While I lie back and dream
Yes my dear I'll be dreaming about you

Leaving on that dirt road down there
'Cos you don't seem to care
And you've got them lying for you
But babe who's lyin' on you
Has he eyes enough to see through your smile?

Good-bye my love
I'm goin' back to the egg
Going to lie down and sleep
In the womb of the Earth
Back before my life's birth
Yes my love I'll be sleeping tomorrow

03/25/1982

Author's Note: This is odd. I thought I had written this poem on my 20th birthday, the same day I wrote Quarter Life Crisis, so when I saw that I had entered 1982 as the year it was written, I thought I had made a typo. So I went back to my original journal written around the time I wrote each poem, but not necessarily the same day, and there was the date 1982. So I wrote it when I was 19. This makes no sense to me, as I don't recall being so down that I wanted to die on that day , yet there it is. I actually wrote in my journal that it was my nineteenth birthday, so it was definately not a typo. I wrote that my girlfriend and I were having relationship problems, I was having money problems and my grades were terrible in college. Being a couple hundred miles from home wasn't helping and I wanted to die. I remember my 20th birthday as the worst day of my life, for just about the next 22 years anyway and thought that was the first time I had considered suicide. That makes me wonder how much of what I remember is really what I remember and how much is just a jumble of events and images from the past. It's a good thing I wrote it all down then or I might not remember most of my life. Most of my twenties are a blur and my poetry is my timeline of events to keep what I do recall straight in my brain. Depression is a terrible thing to waste a mind. jj

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Posted on 09/24/2005
Copyright © 2024 JJ Johnson