You send me forwards in e-mail
Forwards begging me to fail
For I won't send them to my friends
They'll meet only with recycled ends

Making wishes is a waste of time
Even ten seconds would be a crime
But since I know it won't come true
Is it a crime to wish what I wished with you?

So next time you decide to send wishes my way
Consider what I wish for each and every day
Don't bother forwarding anymore to me
I know they don't come true, 'cos you're not here with me

11/09/2001

Author's Note: I absolutely hate getting spam in my e-mail. It not only makes it hard to find the real mail I want to read amid all the ads for things I have no use for, but there’s also the viruses and spy-ware to worry about. The worst ones of all though, are the ones forwarded by people I know, who should know better than to send me junk mail. And why do they insist on sending ridiculous chain mails that claim you have to forward this to everyone you know in the next nine minutes or you will have bad luck for the rest of your life. I am already going to have bad luck for the rest of my life, I don’t need to be spammed by people I care about to remind me of just how miserable my life already is. And if all of that is not bad enough, when the woman you love, who loves someone else, sends you one of those e-mails that says if you close your eyes and count down from ten to zero you can make your greatest wish come true, what does she expect a guy to wish for? Maybe she thought I was hungry for eggplant parmesan from a restaurant I can never go back to.

Posted on 09/19/2005
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