I've been more self destructive
Than the tornado of boys I spend
Endless nights with.
I chew their spines and twirl them like
They were lids to empty jars.
I can't remember the last time
Security and safety were an issue.
I hate my heart always being stepped upon,
Yet I keep it open for vacancy.
I hate being your 2 a.m. phone call, yet
No one told me I'd destroy myself
So quickly.
I want a promise and a death bed to drown in
He and him and them are always in the rear
View mirror.
My purse is heavy from stowing all my wishes,
But no one else wants to hold me.

I am floating away in vodka and daydreams
I am kissing stones; praying to find restoration and
Redemption in a sea of mockingbirds.
Isolation is a ring I want tattooed around spine,
So I can never feel the joy of being complete; so I can
Spend these nights never thinking of the sun.

09/05/2005

Author's Note: "can we pretend to leave and then we'll meet again, when both our cars collide." -My Chemical Romance

Posted on 09/05/2005
Copyright © 2025 Beth K Hannah