I want to stop
but how can I
when my hand touches his side
and he falls into me so easily?

his arrogance melts
and smolders
burning me
hot and angry
and so perfectly searing

it's just his blazing eyes
a shade lighter than his hair
or his Antinous nose
like carved in marble
and sometimes I hide
in the dark gleam
of his eyelashes

(he can tell I'm running
and lets me make him
my cave by the ocean)

but he sparks in me a new light
that resists being extinguished
and every day he feeds the flame
leaving me weak and stupid
and nearly dead from heat

he is the conductor
the railwayman
the coal shoveler
and I want to stop
but how can I
when he is a volcano
I've thrown myself in?

08/29/2005

Author's Note: Antinous was a lover of Hadrian. He died in the Nile after hearing that it would make him immortal. Hadrian was so distraught that he made Antinous a god. I think it was the nose. beautiful.

Posted on 08/29/2005
Copyright © 2024 Emily G Myers