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Femme Fatale
by Malika BiersteinShe is a vision of amber beauty,
oval head wrapped with chocolate locks,
conscious thoughts spilling over
the pedestal that holds her
in the honey-dipped hue of a dim bedside lamp.
Her hands, perfect silver-coated circles,
hang from their wooden lath
like a leg kicked lazily over one side.
She is regal in her carelessness, mystified
object asking to be touched, hung
around the neck down low, close
to the heart.
Some say that Amber is healing,
her energy so powerful it can pull
impurities from the body, penetrate
the bones of a man so deep it'll make him forget
his grief, the pressure that rests like a big,
brown petrified stone on his chest.
08/05/2005 Author's Note: This poem was originally titled 'The Necklace'. It is a work in progress so I know it doesn't exactly flow right yet. Any comments/criticisms are appreciated.
Posted on 08/05/2005
Copyright © 2025 Malika Bierstein
| Member Comments on this Poem |
| Posted by Michael Faraday on 08/05/05 at 05:52 PM Hi. Based on your punctuation placement I don't quite understand this line, "Her hands, perfect silver-coated circles, hang from their wooden lath like a leg kicked lazily over one side." Contrary to what a lot of people believe grammar does belong in poetry. Perhaps line breaks instead of commas will allow this poem to make better sense and flow more easily. Nice image at the beginning with this line, "oval head wrapped with chocolate locks". One thing I strive to do is to 'show' don't 'tell' in writing poetry. The "she is a vision' is telling...anyway, just a few comments, since you asked on your bio page! cheers, m |
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