"It's easy to hesitate
Like a girl listening to her heart break"
-ATB "Long way home"

When all my words have been taken away,
by blundering confusion or
day late, buck short regret.
I don't have the strength to say
what my heart beats
what my heart breaks
into tiny fragments
of untalented poetry
and overplayed love songs

a heart of porcelain
and speakers of shattered glass
music can't blast away,
the tracks a turntable heart repeats.

07/25/2005

Author's Note: my throats choked up, i had to force myself to eat, i have to force myself to think. i can\'t stop thinking about what\'s right, what might be wrong, what i should do, what i can do, and especially, what i can\'t bring myself to do. I don\'t want to lie, because i love. I don\'t want to love, because i don\'t want ruin. I don\'t want ruin, because it\'s all i\'ve ever known. I don\'t want to live what i\'ve always known, because it\'s a familiar misery i\'ve known as home way too long.

Posted on 07/26/2005
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