"It's easy to hesitate
Like a girl listening to her heart break"
-ATB "Long way home"

When all my words have been taken away,
by blundering confusion or
day late, buck short regret.
I don't have the strength to say
what my heart beats
what my heart breaks
into tiny fragments
of untalented poetry
and overplayed love songs

a heart of porcelain
and speakers of shattered glass
music can't blast away,
the tracks a turntable heart repeats.

07/25/2005

Author's Note: my throats choked up, i had to force myself to eat, i have to force myself to think. i can't stop thinking about what's right, what might be wrong, what i should do, what i can do, and especially, what i can't bring myself to do. I don't want to lie, because i love. I don't want to love, because i don't want ruin. I don't want ruin, because it's all i've ever known. I don't want to live what i've always known, because it's a familiar misery i've known as home way too long.

Posted on 07/26/2005
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