there is a vague
sense that there used to be
something here
that I'm forgetting something
important
like the dream

where I show up
to some important
cocktail party
and forgotten my pants
and I wonder if I
can make it to the door
without anyone noticing
my nakedness

days go by, lost
in cogs of the spinning,
working wheel, counting
minutes, hours between
a word, a touch, a meeting
of lips and hands

I can't remember the last
time I felt the cool
smoothness of paper, the weight
of a pen, how my fingers gripped it
poised, ready to strike or
caress, my first lover
I've spent these years
chasing you

slamming the covers
of every book, it hurt
to look at every word
pointless, empty
I was never the same
after you left

I have never recovered
the poems, the words
have changed, the thing
that was such a part of me
has shifted, moved away
waving to me from a great
distance, I can't get close
and ache from the separation

its a sickness, leaving me
awake, late into the night
watching shadows shift over the walls
wondering if you will ever come back
and knowing the truth all along

07/23/2005

Posted on 07/24/2005
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