I enjoyed much of camp--
The Cause is great;
This is a time of Change,
Of Urgency.
It's a comfortable routine;
It's a life that IS me.

But working with "D" is difficult--
He is so hateful in regard to the Church--
So foolishly bitter--
He feasts himself on his on disregard and distain
For the Church and it's leadership,
And he puffs himself up in his
Self-perceived intelligence and wisdom:
O, Pride,
He's become the Common,
The classic appostate.

It breaks my heart.
It assults my own spirit.
The association with him goes against
My sense of wisdom,
Of good judgement.

In terms of work,
He wants me to be his "puppy dog,"
His "rubber stamp,"
Which I can do well;
But I often feel stifled,
Frustrated,
Unsupported,
Impotent,
Brainless:
Uncomfortably only a "monkey."

But the Cause is great,
This is an age of Change,
Of Urgency.

I had a vivid dream one night:
I dreamed I told him off and quit.
And when I awoke,
I felt both relieved and concerned--
Relieved that I had outwardly spoken Truth;
Concerned that I had completely cut off
My future with him--
A Friend of Forty Years.

For yes, the Cause is great,
This is an age of Change,
And I Know the Urgency.

07/06/2005

Author's Note: A confessional

Posted on 07/07/2005
Copyright © 2024 Leonard M Hawkes