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Conversations with Myself

by Amy Niggel

I find that I have forgotten
how to speak to myself.
In childhood I'd laugh freely
at my musings
my nature was open to me
I knew who I was.
In adolesence I began muttering
simple reminders under my breath
as I fought to retain some essential 'me'ness.
Now I haven't spoken to myself in so long
I'm not even sure I'd want to talk to me.
I watched me change
into a million different figures,
none of whom had the characteristics I valued.
Meaningful communication between myself and I
has ceased to exist,
if it ever really did.
I can't laugh at myself anymore,
I can't even despise myself anymore,
because I haven't known anything of myself lately.
So I sit here
trying to work up the courage
to talk to myself again.

07/01/2005

Posted on 07/01/2005
Copyright © 2021 Amy Niggel

Member Comments on this Poem
Posted by JD Clay on 08/03/05 at 12:58 PM

I find that talking to ones self is a common trait, but the listening part posses an even greater challenge. The message I'm getting here is one of societal programming throughout or lives the creates the shift in which you speak. I like the subtle philosophical style here, Amy. A true lesson in humankind. pe4ce...

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