Broken heart
Shattered dreams
Tattered hopes
The mess at my feet:
like ashes in the urn
I sift through the pain
the loss
the shame
To find some meaning to it all!
I broke his heart
and shredded mine too
Killed my life
and love
And buried it beneath
my doubt
Fertilized with fear
Wreathed with self-rage.
I can't undo it
though I'd give my life to try
Eat the angry words
And erase the lie
"I'm sorry" now would be
like shit in a pond -
meaningless . . .
Forgiveness will never be
my companion
Friendship is my only solace
And I will die knowing -
sooner than later -
That I shut my hoped-for
husband away
and locked him in a
prison -
A hell of my own making.

06/06/2005