Since you asked: "Sunday" and "crucifix" imply a Christian church. "thinner" and "brown and brass" imply a carpenter--which is an allusion to Jesus. There is the underlying current of former cold (ice) now replaced by heat (running down, melt away), and of a person in prayer (beads). There is a strong feeling here--of faith as a construct (construction, something that is built up, layered up with lacquer and brass plating) being torn down (hopes now broken). The sentiment is strong, and the images, as they stand, efficient. My problem with this is that it is too abstract--almost too metaphorical. Why equate thinner with doubt? Hands with ice? What hopes, exactly, were broken? This is the same issue I've been dealing with in a lot of my own works--on the one hand, I am hesitant to add too much (personal) detail, as that may detract from the (universality) of the poem, while on the other, too little detail leads to abstraction, which by definition is clinical and detached. You have the schematic here, the premise, the mechanics--now you must make the even more difficult push--make the machine work. What make you write this, Uriel? What does this prophesize? You might have to put yourself through the grinder to find out what the product will be, but trust me--it will be worth it. Let me know. Regardless, as it stands it is a powerful equation. Thank you for sharing it. |m|

Uriel, I sense unanswered questions, even though faith is strong. Yet, even the place, which is unmentioned, where this poem was inspired feels like it's one that's not totally comfortable to the narrator. Maybe the narrator doesn't yet understand the questions to ask, although unsure about beliefs and tenets that have been part of life for most of it. Haven't we all had these doubts and questions, no matter what faith we choose? I like your style here of mixing established conventions and simple thoughts.
~Chelle~