For many years,
Dum Luc lived a lonesome life
in the rundown room of a broken down boarding house
on a seedy Shanghai back street,
among the seamen and strumpets.

Though often a sad man, a swollen pride possessed him
when perched upon the poop deck of the Yellow Dragon.
Through the passing years, Dum Luc slowly rose in rank
from swabby to first mate, and finally to Pilot.

It was a blustery spring day, the Yellow Dragon’s hull heavy in spice and tea,
when fate, most cruel, hurled a gusting gale that blasted and battered her sails.
Poor Dum Luc was spun round, and bonked his bean on the main mast.
In a disoriented instant, the Yellow Dragon careened, cracked a support beam,
and the Nanpu Bridge rained down in crashing concrete hunks!

How the media blamed and vilified this bad Luc,
named him The Nanpu Ninny, the Shanghai Schlemiel
and most upsetting of all, Dum Fuc.

Unceremoniously stripped of his pilot’s license
Luc suddenly sunk to a pitiable gin soaked lay-about.
To escape the notoriety, he shaved his noggin, grew his beard long
legally changed his name to Hung Dong.

But times change, tastes change, and fame,
any kind of fame is deemed worship worthy.
Soon kitsch was all the Asian rage
and Dum Luc became beloved farce.
It seemed that all of China now concurred,
“ Dum Luc’s so bad, he’s good!”

His tale was told in a “Movie of the Week.”
He bought the latest Hollywood haircut, two-tone wing tips,
and a wigged out set of threads.
Luc toured the talk show circuit, did reality TV,
in infamy he soon amassed a fortune!

He left that Shanghai flophouse
for hip bachelor digs in Swinging Beijing.
Naughty nurses, steamy stewardesses,
how they loved his dubious fame!
And so Dum Luc most happily
lived out his days…

Indeed, much can be said for Dum Luc
and it’s true what they say,
“Every Dong has its day!”

05/27/2005

Author's Note: I channeled the spirit of legendary director Edward D. Wood Jr. for this one.

Posted on 05/28/2005
Copyright © 2026 David Hill