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5 AM
by Jeffrey ParrenThis is the time I aspire,
The time I dream,
The time when most people
Are asleep, or
Awakening.
I find I dream about my writing.
The writing that affects so many.
So what exactly discerns
My version of dreaming
From theirs? Im awake,
Arent I? My poetry affects
The masses and they follow.
People try to write like me.
People try to simile like me.
People try to use simile as
A verb. Metaphor me.
And then I realize that I
Am 24, I have done nothing
To merit accolade, and
My dreams are just that.
04/29/2004 Author's Note: Wrote last year...felt I should post it to get some feedback. I really think it isn't all that good, but it conveys my feelings well. I remember my mother not liking this that much because she wondered why I felt this desire to change things so much. What made me think that I was worthy of such responsibility?
Posted on 05/20/2005
Copyright © 2024 Jeffrey Parren
| Member Comments on this Poem |
| Posted by Maria Terezia Ferencz on 05/23/05 at 06:15 PM Actually the repetition is one of the things I like best about this poem....it rings in my head
the time
the time
the time
people try
people try
people try......it speaks to me of your own trying Jeff and the fact that you are 24
I like it! |
| Posted by Charlie Morgan on 05/24/05 at 04:21 PM ...jeffrey, i'd do what both peeps mentioned, alter some of the repeitition, but like maria said keep some, maybe an ellipsis ... ... could segue you into the next line...but content-wise it is a healthy poem showing just how we LIVE in our minds, sometime dreaming sometimes not...but a great parallel to life inna da woirld...eh? peace, chaz |
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