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beginning of a song with no title... any suggestions?
by Kalikala SmithI had a dream
that I was in your eyes
and the sea breeze blew me
around in disguise.
And I
I was afraid to say
anything so that I might
give myself away.
I hide in the space
of the dimple in your smile
and sometimes wandering
off for awhile
to the soft safe place
of your steady gaze
loving every moment of your
continuous maze.
And I
I am in your ocean
the depths of your seas
know no boundaries for me.
And I
I am in your ocean
I am lost in your waves
so carry me away
carry me away.
I had a dream
that I was in your eyes
and I woke up with a million
crystals of salt in my skies.
05/01/2005 Author's Note: okay, working on the metaphor of "in your eyes" and taking it more literally... and then the end i want to have the subject waking up with salt in her hair... its a song in the works... any suggestions?
Posted on 05/01/2005
Copyright © 2024 Kalikala Smith
| Member Comments on this Poem |
| Posted by Carl Walker on 07/31/05 at 12:20 PM it seems it would make a very haunting song. I notice Shania Twain (did I spel that right?) has a few lyrics that really hit a cord with the aggregate heart of her audience and then some that really don't make much sense or fit with the story. I really like some of the thoughts, I'd say focus on the phrases you like best, make the best of those and use some that maybe you don't like or don't seem to fit a filler.
I really like it and think it could be very appealing coupled with the quality of your voice that seems to call from nostalgia and pathos (a compliment)
if you ever do it I hope I get to hear it. |
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