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but this instead
by Kalikala Smithinstead of being
helpless, hopeless,
i pretend i'm beautiful
and sit upon my throne
and smile at my subjects with love.
four young boys
with bruises on their faces
cringe awkwardly
and run past
the princess (my beautiful self).
why run, i ask,
because if you slow down
i can smile at you
with love.
we don't want love, they replied,
(with unison)
we are too ashamed to have love.
so love smiled down
and their bruises
became endearing freckles
brushed lightly on each nose.
instead of being
loving, smiling
i pretend i'm sinister
and cast down demons
to torment every soul i see.
quiet blonde
slowly, cautiously walks by
quite aware of her love around her
and i rage, quivering.
you!
and the girl replies, yes,
with a small and firm voice,
me.
i will give you the demon
of self-hatred, i say
(in my most intimidating voice).
so be it, small girl replies.
so evil burnt down
and her face did not change.
she stood perfectly still
and beautiful.
and her insides churned
and she started beating at her legs
and arms
and torso
until she was a welting bruise.
and then i saw
four young boys
peer out from behind her.
we knew it
(they said in unison)
love cannot exist.
but its just pretend,
i plead,
i would never do this to you.
but this instead
am i evil sprinkled with love?
or am i love sprawled into darkness?
04/14/2005 Author's Note: a little jumbled, but has an underlying theme that i'm still trying to piece together in my head.... something my own real self is struggling with.
Posted on 04/14/2005
Copyright © 2024 Kalikala Smith
| Member Comments on this Poem |
| Posted by Charlie Morgan on 04/14/05 at 04:03 PM ...kalikala, sturggle away, m'lady, you won't ever overtake this understandin' o' life thingeee, but you write a pretty descriptive pic of some of it, especially where you're "perceiving" your self a certain way, we all do and by-golly why not be a prince or princess, most of our living is in our own head anyway and you say it in a "neighborhood" way...love it, peace, chaz |
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