this is what i wished for
this is what i hoped for
but i fear that the outcome is beyond
anything that i could have ever imagined
you plague me with
vile sympathy,
unconfirmed truth,
stubborn compromise,
and it pesters me to no end
to know
that the one that i let slip away
actually struggled to stay the whole time

fate is a wedge that can be driven into
and removed from lives repeatedly
fate brought us together
wedge out
fate comes between us
wedge in
fate knows no surrender, so
we reluctantly move on,
yet we both wish
each other near
why?
is it because of the heart that still feels love?
or is it because same said heart
fears guilt?

where is the love that was professed and exchanged?
nowhere, much like the vapor and mist that
dreams turn into during our waking hours
yet there will be no more mist for me
for i will never again dream
the dreams of lovers,
for their dreams are
merely episodes of delusion
using snatches of imaginary concepts such as
"caring",
"comfort",
and
"security"
as an excuse to bring value to a person's soul

i call upon thee
smite thine dreams and curse thine hopes
heal this injury to the soul
that was self inflicted
show me favor in my follies and
do no flaunt my failures in front of me
allow me to steal a glance toward
the memory of what was had
and mourn the loss of what could have been,
without pain

for this, as all things do, only
hurts for the moment...

12/23/2004

Posted on 02/22/2005
Copyright © 2025 Marcus Jones