again you never cease to amaze me girl...great poem

This piece almost speaks another language to me, in a metaphysical manner. Oustanding work.

I normally have a rule against centered poems--which I won't waste time philosophizing over here--but here I am ok with the centering in this piece: it reinforces the image of "old lips" "over sleeping wounds," something of a lingering (the convalesce), a quavering, a moment in the life of a leaf as it descends, the juxtaposition of one ascending and another descending, and although I am probably reading much more into the form than the form reads into me, I see the hourglass shape of a woman's torso, irresistible, inviting the want of apologies to well up from me. I see one small grammatical deviation which I realize may be intentional--please let me know if it is--but since the subject of the second clause is the singular "speed," its verb "usurp" should be the s-form; apologies usurp, speed usurps. (Sorry, I am currently obsessed with diagramming sentences.) That one question aside, I love this. I read it as a haiku, granted a large one. The fact that is one very large and complex sentence reinforces the interconnectivity of the subject--the characters cannot escape the reciprocity of each other's actions--Newton's law is the underlying physic for this poem (kudos again for not specifying gender in either character, I love how both speaker-I and subject-you could be either male or female, both lexically and syntactically). Again, as in other poems of yours, the sensuality (for lack of a better term, there should be a better one, to be properly applied to your poems) of this poem makes it resonate especially deeply with me--although the speaker and subject do not necessarily have to be in a sexual relationship, the fact that the context the relationship is given in has such a sexual charge to it, reinforces again just how deeply the characters have penetrated each other--it gives the poem a very primal aspect. There's a balance between the sexual world of animals and the spiritual world of angels in this, making it more human than human, so to speak. Thank you for sharing this, luv. --R |m|