This piece is so rich in the fabric of some area between death and life. Most captivating, it is..

I sympathize with Steve in this, every line I wanted to keep, until I met the next line... I felt adulterous reading this, falling in love over and over, straying with and to all the different threads. This captures lust quite well, and the lingering glow of lust satisfied--an intrinsic follow-up that most would have never gotten to or not appreciated if they had. The ending, I think, it my favorite part; endings are difficult in such primal matters, you handled it, well, like an expert (I mean that in the most polite way possible). I love the antithesis and multiple-subjectivity applied to the verb "rend" following the line "my clothes, my enamel." That is much like what these situations are, one verb, many direct objects, different meanings, same point. You handle antithesis very well, and shifting subjects--to rip me in half/when you smile/canvas of tattered sheets"--two aspects of both poetry and sensuality that I find prime and primal. I love the image of "bleared with/me and your mouth," and the deceptively simple yet so forceful repeated declarative: "i want that." I also very much like the element of locution given to "Want" and to the physical act of wanting ("verbose touch"). It renders explicit the reality that as humans we must balance our primal (wordless) wants and satisfaction of those wants with the social (wordy) needs of our cultur(al-artifact). I might get lambasted for this, but this has a "masculine" (for lack of a better term) element that I find appealing coming from a woman. I don't think a man would have captured the ending in quite the same way you did, which is to say, most men would have unfortunately perverted it and ruined the rest of the work by association. In some of my recent works I have been trying to do the "opposite" (for lack of a better term) of what you did here by getting in touch with my own, recently and unfortunately neglected, inner feminine. Reading this I felt a certain reflection--again, not really opposite, but reciprocal--that resonated in me. And I appreciated that very much. Thank you for sharing this, and welcome to PPS. I'm looking forward to reading more of your work. |m|